Well, here's the first chapter of my story. Hopefully, it will grow to become a novel. I am working on editing the 2nd-4th chapters now. Basically, all you need to know about the setting is that it is in the future, and the U.S. has split into the United Eastern Federation and the United Rebel Territories. The main character, Anthony, is undergoing training to become a member of the Rebel Marine Corps Special Operations Unit. During the battle scenes, imagine the setting as the Grand Canyon, or another canyon in the Western U.S.
The training game became a reality for Anthony, loud background music pumping loudly from the speakers, his thoughts absorbed in the game’s battles, chases, and scenarios. He had complete control over his character, a sniper in the Rebel Marine Corps as a battle began between Rebel and United forces.
Anthony dodged a shot from behind the enemy’s lines and took aim at his first target. He raised his laser rifle to his soldier and sighted his target, a high ranking enemy general, down the rifle’s long, thin barrel.
With all the finesse of an archer releasing an arrow, Anthony pulled the trigger and a blue laser projectile flew away from him at top speed. The rifle kicked back from the shot and he was pushed over on to his back. He righted himself to find that his sanctuary from the enemy’s fire was no longer safe. Several red laser beams crashed into an arch of rock, tearing into it and sending rock splinters shooting in every direction. Anthony yanked his hand up to his body and quickly jumped up just in time to avoid being ripped in two by a deadly fragment of the rock.
He had to regain his composure instantly, for he was being shot at from below on the battlefield. He fled back atop the ledge of the cliff, towards the center of the plateau he was stationed on. Leaping behind an arching spiral of desert rock, he found to his dismay a unit of the United Special Operations soldiers, the most skilled and best trained soldiers in the United Armed Forces.
The Special Operatoins soldiers looked back at Anthony. Their leader gave a quick hand signal, and the soldiers split from their formation. As they approached Anthony, he checked his shield levels and stock of ammunition and armed his close-combat automatic laser rifle. Flipping a switch on his armband, a translucent blue particle shield shimmered into life around him.
Anthony hurriedly fled behind an outcropping and proceeded to decide how to combat his opponents. As he scanned each soldier to discover which was the captain, he could not help but be impressed by the high-tech gear that each warrior wore. The captain’s reflective silver armor gleamed in the sunlight, temporarily blinding Anthony. Their shields shone as faint red spheres surrounding each man. The crest of the United Armed Forces and Special Operations Bureau glinted impressively, the eagle-shaped wings denoting their rank and merits.
Hurriedly, Anthony brought his rifle up to his shoulder, gripping the ammo clip to balance his aim. He fired a single shot, but hesitated just too long and missed the captain’s helmet by a fraction of an inch, instead hitting the rear guard of the unit. The soldier crumpled to the ground in a heap, his pack bursting into a flaming sphere of heat upon his back.
The fallen warrior’s comrades vacated the area within 5 feet of him, and quickly spread out to find cover. Some lay flat behind boulders, others hid with their backs to a cliff face, shielding them from Anthony’s view. All that Anthony could detect of the enemy soldiers were the barrels of their weapons. He froze as he tried to find a target. Soon, however, he was forced to retreat several more steps as tiny lasers were playing across the rock wall, searching for any shootable body part to venture past the shadow of the overhanging cliff.
Without warning a shot came at Anthony from behind, piercing his shield and embedding its electrical charge in the rock between two of Anthony’s outstretched fingers. Sweat began to roll down his forehead as he turned and dropped his weapon, checking his shields first and deactivating them.
Anthony reached inside his pack and felt around for his secret weapon. To his dismay, it wasn’t there. He continued to search desperately for it, then realized he must have already used it earlier in the day at his training. Resigned to defeat, he stood and placed his hands on his head.
In seconds, he was surrounded by his enemy. In one desperate, last ditch attempt to escape, he punched the commander’s face, then spun and kicked him in the chest. Before he could cause any further damage, he was shocked by a low level laser, shot by a lieutenant.
Quicker than any of the other soldiers could react, Anthony saw a huge artillery burst shot from the ground come at them. The blast shook the towering cliff of solid rock and exploded into a huge ball of searing blue flames. As the explosion carried Anthony through the air, he could see the side of the cliff cracking and then crashing suddenly to the ground. Then, his vision went dark and was replaced with the words:
Game Over
Link Terminated
Anthony replaced his helmet on the rack and walked out of the training simulation facility. It was his fifth try at the battle. He had gotten killed all five times. His commanding officer greeted him as he stepped out, looking unhappy. His name was Michael Denmt. He stepped over to the rack and grabbed a helmet. He gestured to Anthony.
“Come here, son!” he barked. “When you put this helmet on, it is not a game. It may be a simulation, but someday it could be real. You could die. Now go back in that simulation room and try it one more time.”
Anthony was going through this rigorous training so he could become a special agent for the Rebellion. The Rebellion was a political group that seceded from the United States. Its borders stretched from Idaho in the North to Arizona in the South and from Nevada in the West to Denver, Colorado in the East. His strong wish to be a soldier for the Rebellion was the only thing that kept him in the strict, tough training regimen of the Rebellion Specialty Corps. He was the youngest left of the trainees, but he wasn’t going to give up so easily.
Determined to succeed, Anthony sighed but put his helmet on one more time. He entered the simulation room. Mentally, he prepared himself for the simulated battle. As the screen on his helmet’s visor came to life, he quickly maneuvered himself into a good position and shouldered his rifle. Throughout the next 30 minutes of simulation Anthony managed to remain unseen by any of the enemy forces and at the end he had successfully completed his mission, to shoot the opponent’s leaders, without a problem.
Anthony was elated as he came out of the simulator, and Demmt gave a rare smile to him and a compliment, something Anthony had never heard before. Demmt warned him that that was probably the last time he would hear a comment from the Sergeant for a while. Anthony enjoyed his success and went to bed in the barracks that night knowing he was almost through with his training.
Hope you enjoyed it.
-Luke
-'There are 10 types of people in the world: Those that understand binary, and those that don't.'-
Very nice Luke only one complaint, I want MORE.
this is really good. it reminded me of the halo novel i read a while back with all the simulated training the spartans went through before they were set loose on the enemy. i can't wait to read more. <br> <br>i have a few questions about this story. where is california in the scheme of everything? since california is the most important state in the US, where i was born and raised, i need to know what happens to it in the future =) <br> <br>also, what sparked the secession of the rebel territories? was it something they all did together or did they secede one at a time? this may be stuff that's explained later on; if it is i can't wait to read it. <br> <br>ps...you're also in for the drawing of the medieval times prize. get excited.
oh yeah! i meant to say that i love the quote
Luke your Evil, there needs to be more of this you have an epic gift for writing speaking of which I should probably add more to my story. Dar'vitt I managed to work myself into another obsession streak.<br><br>Luke your even more evil than you were a moment ago
Excellent descriptions, Luke. The details make it for me. I'm in Michael's camp, "more, please". <br> <br>Mary Jean
Luke two things, one you have put me out of the top three works on this board. Two have you ever thought about getting published
well actually i have thought about getting published. <br> <br>but anyway, more will come soon. to answer niles's question about cal., well, theres a prequel segment (about a page long) explaining the setting of the story. I would say its like a prolouge. <br> <br>but anyway i intend to post some new stuff tomorrow, after i finish reading beowulf, which is a completely useless waste of 100 pages. <br> <br>i actually have written about 4 or 5 chapters so far, not including the prologue. <br> <br>oh, and thanks for the compliments everyone. feedback is welcome. i really need to get started writing the rest of this story again.
Beowulf wasn't bad it was just well not all that good oh and MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't care how much you have done unless I can read it, this is better than Redwall, barely.
I WANT MORE, NOW!!!
EULAILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
REDWALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
seriously more please, please I'm begging
Luke you're going to die if you don't post you take longer between stories than Homer